Por La Mar Pariah

Well, we’ve gone and done something wholly egregious.

So much so that we have become the almost anti-Christ of the neighborhood.

What have we done that’s so horrific, you ask?

We posted a sign.

Not just any sign.

A sign that reads:

Those two sentences have caused an uproar larger than a Mormon leaving the Tabernacle.

People mutter not-so-nice comments. They glare at us. People whose dogs aren’t with them now walk across our lawn as if to say, “As a human I can do more damage.”

No, you can’t, unless you intentionally go to the bathroom on our lawn, or in some way vandalize our property.

I love dogs.

I’m not going into how much because then it will sound like justification, as in making some homophobic comment and adding, “Some of my best friends are gays.”

Truth is, dogs are fine. I just can’t stand some of their owners.

As the saying goes, “One bad apple can spoil the whole bunch,” and one bad dog owner can ruin it for everyone.

We are tired of cleaning up after your pet. So tired that now we don’t even care if you clean it up, we don’t want them using our grass as their toilet.

We live two blocks from a community park.

I’m pretty sure that your dog can walk the length of a football field (half that distance since they have four paws) and use the restroom there.

But no, for years we’ve endured watching owners allow their dogs to ramble around our trees, circling, circling like buzzards above a kill, then, after ten minutes, using the restroom.

And then you leave it.

And we walk in it.

And even if you didn’t leave it, it’s not that special to a non-dog owner – especially people who obviously prize their landscaping.

My guy spends hours each day blowing and raking leaves, trimming limbs, hedging, edging, mowing. And when he’s done, he starts back over again.

That being said, the neighbors next to us also put out signs, asking for the inconsiderate to scoop the excrement, and they don’t put nearly the effort into their lawn.

And the neighbors at the end of the street, owners of two beautiful Weimaraners, posted signs indicating that the thoughtless are being captured on camera.

Still, it appears that there is a huge divide between asking someone to do their duty and retrieve the doodie and asking them, with a “Thank You,” to not burn our lawn with dog urine.

The great news is that looks and mutters don’t kill. Because we’d be dead. Like portions of our lawn used to be.

So thank you, to the inconsiderate. We’ll trade your nasty looks and sour comments for lawn where bare feet can now tread without fear.