Sam in the Sun

Oh my Lord, Jesus. First, let me start by saying that I passed my driver’s license exam on the first try. Next, I am a college graduate, and I hold a bonafide, legitimate degree from a recognized university. Lastly, I have an Advanced Paralegal Certificate, having graduated with honors, also from a college whose program is recognized by the American Bar Association. All that being said, there are some people into whose hands certain tools of a trade should never fall – and I am one into whose hands a certain wax warmer hair removal machine should never have fallen but did. Unfortunately for him. Here is the part where I insert my sincerest-sounding apologies to him, my boyfriend of six years, whom I actually finagled into being, as he rightly termed, a “guinea pig.” And of this I am certain: Pretty much all guinea pig species, including Skinny Pig, the hairless guinea pig, now have more hair than he has over his eyes. How his eyebrows being prematurely emancipated from his f...

For a woman, losing an eyelash on or after the age of 40 is a lot like a man getting a flat tire...and not having a spare. I discovered this the other night when, as I was applying mascara, a lash appeared to wobble, as if it was going to leave its foundation. "No!" I whispered urgently, and was relieved to discover, after a thorough search of my mascara wand, it was some sort of optical illusion. The first I heard about "older" women losing lashes and certain facial hair occurred during a makeup application session at a high-end cosmetics counter at a department store. "You have a lot of eyelashes  for your age ," the young girl told me. "Most  older  women don't have very many." I was 30 at the time. "What?!" I asked her in alarm. "You mean I'm going to lose my eyelashes?!" "Your eyebrows, too," she replied, matter-of-factly. Ever since then, I've kept an eye out, pardon the pun, and she...